


Black hole

by NogitsuneShadow



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depression, Hinting towards suicidal thoughts, If I continue, If you're easily triggered read with caution, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, Post 3b ignoring 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 14:16:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4140891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NogitsuneShadow/pseuds/NogitsuneShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beacon Hills grows quiet with the Nogitsune sealed away. While the town has a small reprieve it makes things worse rather than better, especially for Stiles. He's doing his best to get through each day when all he wants is to be able to enjoy the ride again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black hole

**Author's Note:**

> Rating is due to triggering themes. Let me know if I need to add any tags. This is not betaed. Please let me know how you liked it. Your comments and kudos make me want to write more. I'll answer any asks and might take fic requests.
> 
> Hello AO3~ It has been a while and I'm so sorry. I need to be more active so here is a little something I whipped up. I hadn't seen season 4 when I wrote this so Derek isn't MIA. This is made as a one-shot but if people plot or like this enough for more I might continue. I hope you enjoy it because 3b was my favorite season and I love the Nogitsune. (And Peter because apparently I have a thing for crazy in this show).

Stiles wasn’t sure when he noticed the void.

If he was being honest it was more like a constant throbbing in his being. He told himself that he hated the Nogitsune, that the fox was a monster, but at the same time there was a longing he was terrified to admit. 

After doing the spell to find his dad, Allison’s dad (the thought of her was its own pain), and Melissa he hadn’t noticed the fox immediately. The thing worked its way in slowly and took him by surprise but it left so quickly that Stiles had no time to adjust. He imagined it was like withdrawal felt like; craving something you knew was bad for you, did bad things to you.

Stiles felt like he didn’t sleep or eat any more than he had when he was possessed. There was no desire to do so. At first he’d thought the ache was that he was hungry and needed to get healthy but every time he ate he felt sick. Granted he felt sick more often than not but he hoped it wasn’t in a way that the pack could smell. Not that they gave him the time of day. They all had their own problems. 

Derek was still grieving over his losses. Isaac more or less hovered around Scott or Chris at all times. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Scott or Lydia knowing what he’d done to them. Lydia would flinch any time he got close and Scott would tense, hesitate a few seconds too long, even if he did his best to put on a smile. He wasn’t sure if the smile was for his sake or Scott’s but he’d do his best to return it. Peter he hadn’t seen since getting the Nogitsune out of him. He wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. Probably bad since Peter was the only one who understood that level of being out of control or close enough to it.

They had been warned about the nemeton bringing more to Beacon Hills but it had been relatively quiet. Stiles felt like it was cruel irony that they finally had a break to heal and put themselves back together but instead they were getting further apart.

In the first few days after the Nogitsune was sealed in the tree he kept to himself. Stiles stayed in his room with the lights on full blast, any blanket he could find wrapped around him, and his headphones blaring whatever happened to be on shuffle. He felt cold with the fox gone. His body felt too big for him even though the Nogitsune hadn’t ever really fit. The dark was once again that place you always feared as a child and silence was just asking for trouble. 

Stiles would eat two bites of food to placate his father before throwing the rest away as soon as the man was gone and if he did sleep he woke up screaming into the pillow. Day three had him putting ear plugs in his dad’s ears without his knowing. It made him feel better to not make things harder on the man. He never fell asleep for more than two hours at a time anyway. If he managed that long the nightmares would wake him up and before that it was just the adrenaline.

After knowing that things weren’t getting better he tried to change himself. He put on a mask of smiles and laughs to be who he used to be for everyone else’s sake. Seeing how uncomfortable everyone was around him was understandable but it wasn’t encouraging. He only bothered for a few days to get through the school week before giving up. As much as he wanted to talk to Scott he didn’t. Before they went home the night everything ended all he did was apologize to Scott. They were both crying but Scott said he didn’t blame him. Stiles believed it but didn’t want to, not with how Scott was giving him the cold shoulder. Weren’t packs supposed to stick together when things fell apart?

He imagined that being alone was the worst of it. Not the pains or nightmares but just being left to his own thoughts. Any train of thought, or attempt to research something random, would bring him back to the pack or the fox. He couldn’t get away from it no matter what he tried. Everyone needed time which was fine but Stiles used to have Scott as his rock and without that crutch he was falling apart. When he started skipping classes no one asked where he was. If he missed a day Scott would text his dad so he stopped that quickly enough.

The point was that he was trying to get someone’s attention. Not a forced smile or pity, not an obligated “are you okay,” but a genuine interest in what was going on with him. He was a mess. Stiles needed someone to talk to. He needed to be force to talk enough that he’d ramble and get everything out in the open. The good, the bad, and the ugly needed to be on display. As much as he didn’t want to he thought it would help. The only reason he didn’t let it show was because of his dad but even his dad kept a large distance between them and was working even more than usual.

Stiles didn’t feel alone he was alone. It was so much worse.

It made him want to disappear. All the people he had hurt and killed – “No, Stiles, you didn’t do any of that,” his inner Scott reminded him – made him want to fix things. There was no way to make it right but when his support system was gone and he didn’t have the energy to keep going he saw leaving as the only option. Leaving for good. It was on his mind all weekend.

He’d been in his room all day Saturday and as Sunday was closing he realized how close it was to Monday. The thought of trying to act like a normal human being at school was more than he felt capable of. He could do it but it pushed him deeper into the hole he already couldn’t see the exit of. It was what he thought drowning would be like. Once he accepted it, it was so much easier.

The thought had him pausing, sitting up in his bed. His bedroom door was cracked and when he glanced at it and something clicked like deja vu. He wasn’t going to get better because not only was he alone but he wanted something to walk through that door, to fill the void. Stiles knew something that was the perfect size.


End file.
